In the beginning, the land of Kings, of the Buddha and of learning lay in peace. Men loved their women, women loved their shopping and the Gods as usual didn't give a hoot. But Loki the God of mischief looked down and saw that all was not good.Loki realised that he needed to send down a conman, a trickster, someone in his own likeness(not image) to save the people from boredom.So he picked up some clay and fashioned a man..stout, with the hair of Diana ross and a brain that can be described as relatively brilliant. Loki looked at this man he called Einstein and realised he was not what he wanted."We will send you to Facist Germany...that should be fun!!" he said and with a puff of smoke Einstein vanished and crashed into the fatherland. Then Loki again set to work, but he made a few mistakes....there was an arnold that he cursed never to be back, there was Ross who he cursed to marry a lesbian and an Arab sheikh who he cursed never to think!!!...but finally it came out right ....just as he wanted...he was brown,had hair that could never be combed, a belly of a laughing Buddha and the wit to charm the ignorant...that was it...Loki looked at him and said," You are the chosen one. You shall save my land from boredom
and predictability. From now on you shall be called Laloo...and you shall be...the first BIHARI."
Laloo was born into the Prasad family and therefore came to be known as Laloo Prasad.His childhood was a very normal one...punctuated though with acts of brilliance...like the time when he left his family at the age of twelve to contest in the annual cow milking festival in Patna. The elders were astonished with his speed and the skill with which he charmed the
animal....legend has it that he used something he called "orbait whaait" to do the same....
When Laloo reached the age of 40 he knew the time had come....his gaurdian trickster Loki had appeared to him 5 years earlier and had given him the effort estimation of the creation of Bihar...it was to begin when he was 40...and was to take 7 days...
So Laloos first act was to create BAST( Bihari Accepted Standard Time)..which incidentally he thought was the spelling for Best. By the standard, 1 year of IST was to be converted to 1 day of BAST. Now Laloo had 7 years to erect Bihar !!!
Laloo woke up one fine morning and rushed to the back of his house where the bulls and cows were. And Laloo said.." Go forth and Multiply.." and the cows continued to chew their cud...another looked at bulls and slid onto the hay.....so Laloo took out his can of Axe and sprayed the Deo all over the bulls and within minutes....well...too graphic to describe....u know what i mean....( any young boys/girls readin this go home and ask ur parents what happened..). So within a year the streets of Patna were teeming with bulls...here a Moo..there a Mooo...everywhere a Moooo MOooo.( Now we know where the term bullshit was
coined)The first part of his triple-headed mission was complete.
In the second year(day accordingto BAST)..Laloo was sitting under a tree when one of crows crapped on him...he knew it..it was another sign from Loki...He had to find a staple food for his people. He searched long and Hard the whole day(IST)...but nothing ...nothing was good enough and he finally collapsed on the ground near what the locals called a paan shop.. It was owned by a man called Nitish Kumar.... Nitish handed Laloo some paan and Laloo beamed with delight..."Come...follow me and I will make you rich...This will be our staple." said Laloo..So Nitish and Laloo opened paan shops at every nook and corner of Bihar..and from there...paan shops went to Bombay, Delhi, Lucknow....etc..Lalism was spreading !!
The second part was completed just under 2 years(IST).
But Laloo wanted more power...how else could he shape Bihar according to Loki??...how else could he establish the Third Wreck?? He had read about "Robain Hoood" and wanted to emulate him....what a noble idea he thought...rob from the rich and give the poor...but he wanted his own mark on it...Laloo had to be written all over it...so was born extortion. And thus Laloo and his men became rich....Extortion was hailed by the communists as a great economic leveller..Laloo was getting stronger politically !!
By the fifth year(IST)everything had fallen into place....people abducted bulls, men extorted from the rich paanwalas and Loki was rolling in laughter...Laloo smiled as he looked on...after all he had completed his task 2 days early !!!
PN: Laloo went on to become chief minister of Bihar...one of the first things he implemented was BAST. There is a story about him marrying a certain Rabri that has been debated all over India...Infact one story says that he and Rabri had many kids...who are still protected by the Municipality of Patna...to ensure that anarchy continues in Bihar !!! Only his trusted henchmen ..the gundaas of Ranchi know this secret.(also known as the secret of the Bullshit.)
[the above story is not intended to make fun of people from any part of India.......I hope the readers of this post see the funny side of it all....]
and predictability. From now on you shall be called Laloo...and you shall be...the first BIHARI."
Laloo was born into the Prasad family and therefore came to be known as Laloo Prasad.His childhood was a very normal one...punctuated though with acts of brilliance...like the time when he left his family at the age of twelve to contest in the annual cow milking festival in Patna. The elders were astonished with his speed and the skill with which he charmed the
animal....legend has it that he used something he called "orbait whaait" to do the same....
When Laloo reached the age of 40 he knew the time had come....his gaurdian trickster Loki had appeared to him 5 years earlier and had given him the effort estimation of the creation of Bihar...it was to begin when he was 40...and was to take 7 days...
So Laloos first act was to create BAST( Bihari Accepted Standard Time)..which incidentally he thought was the spelling for Best. By the standard, 1 year of IST was to be converted to 1 day of BAST. Now Laloo had 7 years to erect Bihar !!!
Laloo woke up one fine morning and rushed to the back of his house where the bulls and cows were. And Laloo said.." Go forth and Multiply.." and the cows continued to chew their cud...another looked at bulls and slid onto the hay.....so Laloo took out his can of Axe and sprayed the Deo all over the bulls and within minutes....well...too graphic to describe....u know what i mean....( any young boys/girls readin this go home and ask ur parents what happened..). So within a year the streets of Patna were teeming with bulls...here a Moo..there a Mooo...everywhere a Moooo MOooo.( Now we know where the term bullshit was
coined)The first part of his triple-headed mission was complete.
In the second year(day accordingto BAST)..Laloo was sitting under a tree when one of crows crapped on him...he knew it..it was another sign from Loki...He had to find a staple food for his people. He searched long and Hard the whole day(IST)...but nothing ...nothing was good enough and he finally collapsed on the ground near what the locals called a paan shop.. It was owned by a man called Nitish Kumar.... Nitish handed Laloo some paan and Laloo beamed with delight..."Come...follow me and I will make you rich...This will be our staple." said Laloo..So Nitish and Laloo opened paan shops at every nook and corner of Bihar..and from there...paan shops went to Bombay, Delhi, Lucknow....etc..Lalism was spreading !!
The second part was completed just under 2 years(IST).
But Laloo wanted more power...how else could he shape Bihar according to Loki??...how else could he establish the Third Wreck?? He had read about "Robain Hoood" and wanted to emulate him....what a noble idea he thought...rob from the rich and give the poor...but he wanted his own mark on it...Laloo had to be written all over it...so was born extortion. And thus Laloo and his men became rich....Extortion was hailed by the communists as a great economic leveller..Laloo was getting stronger politically !!
By the fifth year(IST)everything had fallen into place....people abducted bulls, men extorted from the rich paanwalas and Loki was rolling in laughter...Laloo smiled as he looked on...after all he had completed his task 2 days early !!!
PN: Laloo went on to become chief minister of Bihar...one of the first things he implemented was BAST. There is a story about him marrying a certain Rabri that has been debated all over India...Infact one story says that he and Rabri had many kids...who are still protected by the Municipality of Patna...to ensure that anarchy continues in Bihar !!! Only his trusted henchmen ..the gundaas of Ranchi know this secret.(also known as the secret of the Bullshit.)
[the above story is not intended to make fun of people from any part of India.......I hope the readers of this post see the funny side of it all....]
4 comments:
I m weak following the xtreme bout of uncontrollable laughter!!! When's part 2 coming?? And the firm is long overdue!!!
Yellow yellow dirty fellow....
White white orbaait whait....
This IS NOT rhyme but is true!!!!
Hey what are ur results of IIMs??
@everyone...
this is not the end....
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